Monday, August 24, 2009

Victory Already Acheived


I am coming to realize that Christians—to some degree—will always struggle with schizophrenia. With two conflicting natures beneath our skin, we must constantly scrap in the struggle between them. When we believe we’ve won and finally have a foothold on righteousness, pride shows our true weakness. When guilt pushes our heads down, the Spirit reminds us that Christ is enough, and that there is no condemnation in Him. Yet it’s always a fight.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer lamented his own conflicting natures from his prison cell, not long before his execution by the Nazis. His description of this conflict is insightful:

"Who am I? They often tell me

I stepped from my cell’s confinement

Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,

Like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me

I used to speak to my warders

Freely and friendly and clearly,

As though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me

I bore the days of misfortune

Equally, smilingly, proudly,

Like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?

Or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

Struggling for breath, as though hands were

Compressing my throat,

Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

Tossing in expectation of great events,

Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,

Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,

And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine!"

(First published in Christianity and Crisis, March 4, 1946)

Now there’s a note worth taking to heart. We are never wholly defeated in our struggle against the flesh. We are never entirely weak. We are like an army that has faced momentary defeat on the battlefield, while the rest of its forces have already won the war.

“But we have this treasure [which is the good news of Christ] in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh…. knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into His presence.” (2 Cor. 4:7-12, 14)

When all is said and done, this fight is something we're destined to win.