Thursday, September 11, 2008
“It Was God Who Made Us Different”
“…and He did it on purpose.” –Elisabeth Elliot on femininity
Today, I picked up once more my copy of Let Me Be a Woman, by the ever-excellent Elisabeth Elliot. Wow. That woman had words! Here are some gems that are just as pertinent today as when they were written:
“We are called to be women. The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God’s idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be.” – page 52“God has set no traps for us. Quite the contrary. He has summoned us to the only true and full freedom. The woman who defines her liberation as doing what she wants…is, in the first place, evading responsibility. Evasion of responsibility is the mark of immaturity. The Women’s Liberation Movement is characterized, it appears, by this very immaturity. While telling themselves that they’ve come a long way, that they are actually coming of age, they have retreated to a partial humanity, one which refused to acknowledge the vast significance of the sexual differentiation. (I do not say that they always ignore sexual differentiation itself, but that they significance of it escapes them entirely.) And….by refusing to fulfill the whole vocation of womanhood she settles for a caricature, a pseudo-personhood.”–page 54
“But we do not choose gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of Himself.”-page 34
"Womanhood is a call...The strength to answer this call is given us as we look up toward the Love that created us, remembering that it was that Love that first…made us at the very beginning real men and real women. As we conform to that Love’s demands we shall become more humble, more dependent—on Him and on one another—and even (dare I say it?) more splendid."-page 62
Labels: femininity, feminism
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Part Two by Hännah Schlaudt
(Read Part One)
Have you ever watched a little girl when she thinks she’s alone? I have four younger sisters and countless little girls I babysit, and I love to stand quietly in the doorways to their rooms, watching. My heart warms to hear the soft humming as they set up a game, the tender care for a doll, the intense concentration as they make a gift for a friend. I smile when I catch them glancing in a mirror with eyes full of either surprise and wonder or disdainful criticism. The soft sigh as they finish reading a fairytale and the glow of hope in their eyes as they dream of their own prince and castle someday. The fierce determination over a wayward piece of knitting or an unruly math problem—intent on completing their project well. The sweet concern for a sick friend or sibling, and the almost motherly delight over a new baby. There are certain instinctive desires in every girl’s heart— to be pretty, to feel loved, and to make others happy by loving and caring for them.
Like so many other girls, when I was small, I dreamed of becoming the sort of lovely woman who was not just beautiful, but also made the world around her beautiful by her spirit and the works of her hands and the love she gave to all.
What is it that makes a woman a woman, and what is it that God has called us women to be as His creation, made to glorify Him? What is the heart of biblical femininity?
Society has many definitions of what it means to be a woman, and many ways to go about discovering oneself. The feminist movement has risen up, demanding to know “Who am I?” Elisabeth Elliot shakes her wise grey head at this, and challenging us to look for the answer in a deeper place. If we look into our shallow, frail souls to find out what we were intended to be, we will only come up with handfuls of dust and no good answers. “In order to learn what it means to be a woman,” says Elliot, “we must start with the One who made her.”(Let Me Be A Woman, pg. 4) The right question, she argues, it not “Who am I?” but rather “Whose am I?” We are not free agents, able to do as we please how we please. “Womanhood is a call. It is a vocation to which we respond under God . . .” (Let Me Be A Woman, pg.53) We don’t define it. God and His Word do, and we are called to humbly submit ourselves to the principles that He lays out for us in His Word.
What we believe about God defines us. If we believe that God’s Word is truth, that God is our Creator and Sovereign, good LORD, then we are required to believe that His plan for what a woman is to be is good, perfect, and complete. We may be fallen, but we are redeemed by the good Savior to glorify Him and fulfill His purposes. As redeemed women, seeking the Lord’s good will in our lives, we are free to delight in His perfect design for us. Biblical femininity is not dull, cumbersome, or bondage-inducing. Biblical femininity is not all fierce independence and the ultimately frustrating go-go-go of climbing the career ladder (and maybe the walls). Biblical femininity is grounded in the confidence of God’s perfect will and sovereignty, His true, steadfast and personal love for His children, and His perfect, good plan for each and every woman—just as she is, a precious, beautiful child of His own, made to bring Him glory.
John Piper draws out the Biblical definitions of femininity and masculinity in his book What’s the Difference? as follows:
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength from worthy men in way appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” (pg. 22)
This is a rather dense definition (and is much better expounded upon by Piper himself in his book), but notice with me what is not said. Piper does not say that “mature femininity” means being submissive to the point of being a doormat, or a life restricted to the confines of a home. He also does not say that femininity is defined by independence or a successful career or education. Being a woman of God does not line up with the world’s standards for a successful life, but neither does it mean weakness or a bland life of spineless deference to everyone else. Mature womanhood does not bind us to the kitchen or to a dress suit. It’s freeing and God glorifying.
If mature femininity according to the Bible isn’t legalistic or feminist, then where’s the middle ground? If we’re submitting ourselves to the Word of God, we must seek out what it says this should look like. Genesis tells us that man and woman were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), which implies equality before God. They are not the same, but they are equal in value and worth, and equally made bearing His image. Later in Genesis, both man and woman became sinners and were evicted from the Garden, equally under God’s judgment and equally sinners. Both men and women are in the same predicament of bondage to sin, and need Christ and His salvation in exactly the same way. Femininity defined by the Bible is not subservient or degrading, for both men and women are broken, crooked and fallen—sinful creatures deserving the wrath of God.
The Bible lays out complementary roles for men and women that stand firmly against the presuppositions of our feminists today, and line up with reality and nature in a glorious manner. When Adam was made, he was made first, and saw and named the animals on his own. And Adam noticed something, the Genesis tells us. “The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:20, ESV) The story continues: “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” Woman was that helper made just for man, and the Lord blessed them and called it very good. Man was ultimately given the leadership of their union and the responsibility for creation. Woman was made to be his helper. When they sinned, Adam, not Eve, was the one God first addressed and called to account for their disobedience. Adam, not Eve was held responsible. Biblical femininity follows this precedent set in Eden—women are made to follow, to submit, to nurture, to affirm and to receive. Men are the leaders, the initiators, the protectors and the providers.
Have you ever watched a couple ballroom dance? His strength compliments her grace. He leads joyfully, because she is following him joyfully. He initiates the dance and takes charge of where they go and what they do, and it’s made beautiful because she follows with ease and gladness. Men and women were designed to work together as in a dance, complimenting each other with joy and equally partners in the dance. There is no competition or anxiousness or demeaning the worth of the other partner, but instead a sweet union of purpose and movement that is glorious to see. God designed us for these roles, and gave us the desires and instincts that nudge us in the direction of His original intent for us as men and women for His glory.
The desires in a woman’s heart find their fulfilling in God’s perfect design for femininity. I want to be beautiful; He tells me that beauty is found in a gentle and quiet spirit (which doesn’t mean spinelessness, but humility melded with love and grace)—a gift from Him that He will give me if I ask for it in faith. I desire to be loved—He demonstrated His fathomless love for me on the cross and has redeemed me and adopted me into His family and will see to it that I have everything I need for life and godliness. I want to love and nurture others, and He has designed women to be mothers and wives and sisters and daughters and friends and called us to live in community with each other to encourage and build each other up in the faith. God has designed us to desire these things, and through His Son’s redeeming work on our behalf, we have access to the joy of seeing these good desires fulfilled in Him.
The trouble with the views on femininity expressed today is that they don’t ask the right question, and because the foundation’s crooked, the whole framework for the answers that are laid forth is faulty. We must first understand who we are in relation to God. All things hold together in Him (Col. 1:17, ESV) and that includes how we define ourselves as women. Once we have right thinking about God and how we related to Him (as His creation, made to glorify Him), then we can go on to correct faulty views of femininity. How biblical femininity looks in the details of everyday life might look different from woman to woman. But there will be uniting principles laid out in the Word of God that define it in such a way that enables us to avoid the pitfalls of crooked views of femininity.
Labels: femininity
Thursday, July 24, 2008
By Hännah SchlaudtKara was just the opposite of Meg. When I first met her, I was delighted to meet a girl so old-fashioned and feminine. I hoped I’d find a kindred spirit in this sweet girl. However, my heart grew increasingly perplexed by her. Smart and sweet, she ought to have been active in the church and community, using her time to hone her skills as a math tutor and to serve children in the area. Loving children and quite capable of being a dear friend and an encouragement to everyone, I expected her to be married early on. But time crept on and she saw her twenty-fourth birthday come and go, and was still very single, living at home and helping her mom with chores about the house and reading novels in her free time. I sometimes wanted to weep after talking to her. How much of her life has she frittered away as she sought to be the ideal, dutiful daughter and wait patiently for Prince Charming to approach her dad and whisk her away into “real life” and that perfect home of her own?
These girls, and others like them, have driven me on a chase through the woodsy hills and dales of theology, God’s Word, and my own heart and mind. What is the biblical definition of femininity, and which of these girls’ views is the right one? I’d read some on this topic, but certainly not extensively. However, I do believe that God has laid forth in His Word clear principles for what defines biblical femininity that can help us sort through the cultural clutter and sin nature to get at the root of what it means to be a woman, made in the image of God and living to the fullest a live submitted to Him for His glory. Let’s seek out this definition together, shall we? And let’s try to stalk down how God intended for us to apply that definition of biblical femininity to where we are now—as young women just stepping forth into adulthood, blinking in the burst of sunlight that is the realization that we’ve left girlhood behind and the wondering what that might mean in the nitty gritty of everyday living.
First, though, let’s try to lay down our assumptions and presuppositions in the dust at the wayside. There are many definitions of femininity thrown at us today—the highly educated, in-your-face businesswoman who demands perfect equality, the half-naked glamour queen on glossy grocery store magazine racks, the gentle, mousey Victorian lady with lowered eyes, the soccer mom with screaming kids and a to-do list longer than her minivan, the damsel humming to herself in a lonely tower as she waits patiently for her prince to ride up the hill and bring her away to a golden palace with diamond sunbursts. All of these are crooked distortions of what God intended woman to be, and we must forget them as we seek out His original intent for us. He did not mean for a woman to be a spineless, mindless “angel of the house” with little use but to look pretty and encourage morality. Nor did He purpose for His daughters to be domineering and independent creatures that only differ from men in their anatomy. Far from it. He made us to be beautiful and good and to bring glory to Him. But what does that look like?
Take a walk with me through the pages of the Word and the writings of wise saints, and let’s find out.
Hännah Schlaudt is a nineteen year old sophomore at Grove City College, where she is pursuing a double major in English and Christian Thought. She can most often be found seated beneath a tree with a book in hand. While she dislikes hop scotch, she does admit to a penchant for the Lindy Hop, which she does in between games of frisbee. Her writing can also be found at www.forthrightfixation.com.
Read Part Two of Hännah's series here.
Labels: femininity, feminism
Friday, January 04, 2008
Becoming Jane
At one time, a very average little girl lived on a very average little street in an average little town in the United States. We will call her, “Jane.” Jane was born with talents, strengths and weaknesses, much like other children. However, unlike other children, Jane had no parents.It’s not that they never existed. She had them at one time. But the day she decided she didn’t like the rules they gave or the broccoli her mother served at dinner, Jane quit the family. She wanted to decide for herself who she would be.
Jane decided to treat her friends the same way. Although Jane managed to make friends with her talents and personality, she rarely was asked to play hide and seek or jump rope because she’d never adhere to the rules. She preferred to make her own.
Years passed and Jane grew. When she was a woman, she was very much the same as when a child (except a bigger version.) While as a child her main rebellion was concerning broccoli, as an adult Jane revolted at the idea of abiding by the laws set by God. Jane wanted to decide for herself, as always. The older she grew, the more headstrong and demanding she became.
One day, as Jane sat in church, she heard the pastor speak of God having different, specific designs for men and women. She learned that God had created her with a certain purpose in His mind. This angered Jane. It was yet another set of rules she’d have to dodge. Jane ditched church and decided that if the Bible contained such restrictive rules for women, it must not be true. Orthodoxy, to her, was extremist. The only religion she followed devoutly was the adoration of herself.
This was the way Jane lived every moment of her life. She never married when she fell in love, because she knew marriage involved submission. (More rules.) When she was pregnant, she refused to be chained to motherhood, so she aborted her child. (More rules.) Finally, one day, she found that she wasn’t happy to be female.
So Jane forgot she was, which was actually what she was trying to do all along.
Jane is, sadly, a true story. She’s a personification of the feminist movement, through which every woman has been encouraged to become a Jane.
If there is one thing that Jane despises, it is orthodoxy. The idea that there are Biblical roles for women, and that God really instated them, is a dagger driving at the heart of Jane’s philosophy. Unadulterated Biblical truth is her kryptonite. She can’t stand absolutes.
Having seen much of Jane in myself, I am on the verge of making a very politically incorrect absolute statement: There’s no place like home. The statement (albeit cliché) is ever so true. Even for organizationally-challenged (I.e. naturally sloppy) people like me, a tidy, cozy home in which God is held at the very center, is something to savor.
I’m not the only one. However uniquely individual women have been designed, with varying arrays of talents, I believe unshakingly that every woman was created to love the home. There was a woman Carole Mayhall wrote of in her book, Come Walk With Me, who emanated this love: A missionary wife who traveled constantly with her husband in the bush, migrating from hut to hut, she had no steady house. Yet it was so much a part of her identity to make a comforting environment, that everywhere she went, she carried a set of silver candle sticks. She’d set them on her makeshift table in an effort to turn every hut she lived in into a home.
Like the missionary wife, all women have the capability to cultivate homes that are refuges, nurturing godliness. Although it may not be a woman’s only calling, she is told by Scripture to fulfill this task. (See Proverbs 31 and Titus 2.)
In the midst of a culture radically adverse to any sort of distinction between men and women, my persuasion is a part of a minority (and a minor minority at that). George Bernard Shaw, a bitingly agnostic socialist wrote, “Home is the girl’s prison and the woman’s workhouse.” Thus is the common perception of homemaking. (Jane wears the quote like a t-shirt…in fact, it may be on a t-shirt.)
To an extent, I agree with Shaw; the home can certainly be a prison and workhouse. Likewise, any kind of rules concerning a woman’s nature can be seen as imprisonment-- from one perspective.
From where Jane is standing, the home doesn’t look like all that and a bag of chips because work is tiresome and rules plead for obedience. But the grass is always greener on the side of disobedience, until we reach that side and look back at the lush plants where we were. With a right, Biblical perspective, knowing full well the freedom that comes with obedience, home is less a cage than a stage to display God’s glory.
I like what Touchstone, the wise court jester in Shakespeare’s As You Like It, observed about contentment. Upon arriving wearily to the forest of Arden, he declared, “Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I; when I was at home, I was in a better place: but travellers must be content.” Only when we find our identities in the locations God places us do we discover contentment.
Labels: Biblical womanhood, contentment, femininity, feminism, obedience
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