Saturday, September 01, 2007
Meet Victoria. She is fluent in four romantic languages and quotes Tennyson at the drop of a hat. While tossing together a gourmet breakfast, Victoria doesn't sweat; she glistens. Demure and reserved, showing an "inordinate" amount of emotion is not something she does. Ever. Even her laughter is like the tinkling of silver bells--never a loud belly laugh--and her smile is neither too distant nor too sincere. Her true opinion is rarely shared, for propriety is valued at all costs. In her spare time, she rivals Monet with her painting. She is everything that is appropriate, everything that is elegant, everything that is refined. Victoria is... a "lady."
Perhaps Victoria's only fault is her unfortunate relation. Standing in stark contrast with Victoria's perfections, is her cousin: Bob. Bob is a girl. She chose a male nickname for herself because she did not wish to be recognized as a part of a gender discriminating society. (Sometimes, she wishes she were a boy.) She attends a college where she is majoring in Women's Studies. In accordance with the free-thinking ways of a post-feminist culture (and following the ideas of her college professor), Bob believes that femininity is a myth, and traditional family values are the leftovers of some dictatorial, man-ruled society from the past. Strong, independent, self-sufficient, Bob is... an "Amazon."
These two "cousins" are caricatures. They both represent extreme ideas of womanhood. Victoria is a portrayal of--you guessed it--the Victorian image of a lady. Bob is a painting of the ideal young feminist. Which of these disagrees with the Biblical standard of womanhood? Resources abound with messages on thinking Biblically in the area of finances, marriage, and raising children. And yet, when it comes to biblical womanhood, the silence is palpable and the water is murky.
When asked to define femininity, we tend to stumble over our words because we don't know where to start. Our conceptions of what defines a woman are often based off preconceived notions or the predominant view of our culture. In order to understand what womanhood really is, however, we cannot turn to either Victoria or Bob. Neither have the answer.
Bob's beliefs are a blatant rebellion to what God desires from His female members of creation. On the most basic level, God created women to love being women. Bob doesn't. Regarding the differences between men and women, Bob lives in denial. She has allowed her identity to be formed by a feminist culture, not God.
If we do not meet "Bob's" every day, we at least witness the fingerprints they have left in the world. The influence of feminism is undeniable. Yet Victoria's gloved prints are often less easily discerned. Sometimes we may even confuse Victoria with Biblical womanhood.
Victoria has qualities which are admirable. A sense of propriety and good manners are commendable attributes. And who wouldn't want to know four romantic languages? However, imagine Victoria in a situation where she is under pressure. Picture her as a mother with children demanding attention. When the children squabble, or disrupt the order and cleanliness of her parlor, Victoria's patience evaporates immediately. She can teach her children French, and she will ensure that each of them handles a fork and knife properly by the age of three, but she does not endeavor to cultivate in her children a passion for their Maker. Victoria’s delicate hands, so adept over harp strings and piano keys, are not practiced in the art of serving. The hours she spent painting and memorizing poetry are never to be seen again. Her life is in turmoil.
Do you see how Victoria’s femininity falls apart? She's an empty shell of a woman because elegance was her identity. She is all icing, no cake. Although Victoria’s housekeeping and linguistic accomplishments may gracefully accompany godly womanhood, they cannot replace godly womanhood. Important attributes of womanhood are not ballroom dancing lessons or scone-baking skills; it’s the spiritual accomplishment of growing with God daily that matters.
God doesn't set Victoria or Bob before us as role models. He gave us someone different.
Allow me to introduce Christina. If you noticed her on the street then you would be quite observant; she isn't one to vie for attention. Her clothing is finely made, yet not ostentatious. Christina works hard around the house and occasionally outside of it, all for the sake of her beloved family. From girlhood she has endeavored to honor her future husband by fighting diligently for purity in her heart. Partially as a result of her steady support, Christina's husband is now a highly respected man in the community. She's beautiful too, in a lasting way. Youthfulness has long since faded from Christina's face, but her husband says, "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." As outward beauty has deteriorated, her inner beauty has only shined brighter. She is a living testimony to the words, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Does she remind you of anyone? Most likely you’ve figured out that she isn’t like Victoria or Bob—characters we imagined to portray different ideas of womanhood. Christina is different. She is a character from the imagination of God. Although she’s unnamed in the Bible, we often nickname her “The Proverbs 31 Woman.” She's the standard God has set.
It doesn’t require a degree in Women’s Studies or experience in finishing school to discover the purpose of femininity. Everything needed for a thorough grasp is tucked in the pages of the Bible. Surprising? It shouldn’t be. After all, wouldn’t the One who created us know why He did?
Hannah and Lindsey
Labels: Biblical womanhood, worldview
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